Incoherent Musings

Continuance

Windreamer — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 09:26:11 +0000

Continuance
~
Observing, watching, listening, just taking everything in
Steadfast in their stance where they learned not to flinch
Preserving lessons while standing at attention to live
Peeking around corners to see what we thought they missed
Clever enough to build from the fundamentals of basics
Astute students of life and earning every right to say it
Laying in wait with the weight of memories yet to make
Where they come from goes beyond the features on their face
The impressions and expressions show strength taking shape
Guidance and counseling for incite into facing the breaks
Changes in life from new lives waiting to take direction
Each wrong and right we provide can’t hide from retention
The varied ways to embrace the day are heavily invested
Whatever the case they got a place guarded and protected
The valued keys to be free and live to see redemption
Who we are is everything we show to those so receptive

~Windreamer~

Watching The Weather

Windreamer — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:59:25 +0000

Watching The Weather
~
Way back when, never knew where the crazy days would take us
About now though, can talk about this place and what shaped us
Some taken away but we know as a whole they can’t erase us
Take the wrap without a pass because there’s ground to make up
Underrated once but not out of touch with what happens here
No matter what, we all have our share of cheers and jeers
Watching those who go out their way to mask how things appear
Listening to the ones who made it through all kinds of years
We’re all peers trying to steer clear of heart breaking moments
Closed off to the world but we open up to the closest
Leaving a little bit of ourselves where someone might not notice
Just trying to stay who we are and at the same time focused
So we keep reloading hoping our aim is true and on point
Sometimes we’re the decoy and that’s something we can’t avoid
All the ways we display is what outsiders hear as our voice
How to handle any situation is what was left to us as our choice

~Windreamer~

Accessible Privacy

Windreamer — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 02:22:10 +0000

Accessible Privacy
~
The obscured good in life is what my eyes always try to focus on
While my ears concentrate on every part of every potent song
Arms hurting so much from years of struggle to keep holding on
A heart recuperating from everything that keeps on going wrong
Not getting along to go along is what I can call my own fault
My support goes beyond lights turning on when the show halts
It’s easy to look at me and pick apart whatever I don’t got
Out of nothing but respect there’s so many names I won’t drop
I hold my losses close to go from where I’ve been to where I am
In each release you can see the clarity of every word I meant
Behind closed doors is the only way I know how to fight stress
To keep certain memories alive please recognize my attempts
No revising the end; our lives begin, and carry on as we see it
In offering myself entirely, I can’t help but entirely mean it
Never asked for much, and learned how I can actually need less
Learned enough tough lessons from life to take it’s sealed test

~Windreamer~

Reaching Topside

Windreamer — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 05:47:18 +0000

Reaching Topside
~
Remember when we relied on each other to make it through
When together was a moment we couldn’t bear to lose
Remember the nights of only us under the stars and moon
That was when I knew I couldn’t help but fall for you
The truth pursued, proved, and consumed just as a start
Because of my lack of beauty I was wary for your heart
Into these uncharted lands I was compelled to embark
For believing in me, my trust went from minimal to large
I found sight in the dark after sparks ignited a flame
Got down to the bare basics and found love did remain
I found life wasn’t as hard after seeing no one to blame
My promise to you was kept; I’m rightfully yours to claim
No more constraints, the rate of exchange is ours to set
From and for you I’ve become better and that’s my intent
The life I’ve led and what this has meant continue to blend
Life in full bloom showed scenarios that couldn’t be dreamt

~Windreamer~

Honest Remnants

Windreamer — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:22:02 +0000

Honest Remnants
~
A fallen feather under pressure to still take flight
A native forever calling for everyone’s satisfied lives
To be interactive in actions reaffirming everyone’s pride
Gathering tools for the incline of the mountain we climb
Seen my share of this, and been through enough of that
Prayed to wait and make memories that could only last
Torn apart so much by so many I don’t know what I have
Wanted so many to advance or, at least, have a chance
The unforced laughs stamped clearly as handle with care
Part of the fix for a tormented mind needing repair
Tried to forget but than I’m reminded to keep aware
Walking down roads leading to neither here nor there
Dared to share but unprepared for backlashing tempers
Payback unnecessary for those type of services rendered
No need to review what is painstakingly remembered
My only wish remains we find what can make us better

~Windreamer~

Golden Years

Windreamer — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:32:27 +0000

Golden Years
~
There was this time I still like to remember again
When we played our part finding out what life meant
Never too far is where each and every conflict went
Together we’d go and experience the fun of the event
Sad that it would all end and then on to new beginnings
Our ways to make it through the days weren’t restricted
Things were rough but not when it was us just living
When many things weren’t broken and never needed fixing
Exposed to words of wisdom and on occasion, listen
In times before school looked alright to start skipping
When we had a one track minds and they kept on shifting
Before things and people became everything we’re missing
Kept wishing on falling stars from where dreams start
That’s when we started up or joined the games in the dark
Hide and go seek, or most likely kicking cans in the park
Possibilities were endless after leaving the front yard

~Windreamer~

Open Eyes

Windreamer — Wed, 28 May 2008 01:25:25 +0000

Open Eyes
~
If you don’t like me at all; big, fat, hairy deal
My record proves I don’t name names and squeal
I’m not going out to take away from anyone’s meal
If you want mine, just ask, you don’t have to steal
Never have I proclaimed to have the power to heal
Just like the ones who know, I can only stay real
Here’s my shield to those who wield hurtful intentions
My lane is where I make mistakes and learn lessons
I’ve seen those who got wounded bad but kept pressing
Witnessed life’s test stress those who got bested
Now without question I see what has to be invested
All or nothing like I’m going to be a 3rd time felon
No telling where I’m heading but that’s how it goes
Only thing I know is through it all I want to grow
That’s whether or not at the time I stand alone
The end result should always be all of us getting old

~Windreamer~

Simple Finale’

Windreamer — Tue, 27 May 2008 22:49:26 +0000

Simple Finale’
~
I might not be around but the memory of me will stay
There I am in echoing words or filling an empty space
If that’s the most obvious place, I’ll embrace the blame
My mark I know I made just by making my personal flame
Knowing how to be plain is what I know I can claim
All I offered was a simple presence and name to exchange
When life looked like a race, I was there keeping pace
Now I don’t matter cause where I stood was washed away
The names and faces will change so scratch me off the list
I’ll cave and state I wasn’t ready to be gone like this
For those who cared and spared a moment, it is what it is
Your time shared with me was always considered a gift
If you see any different than I’ll accept fist after fist
You know you’ll hit and I’m worried about what was missed
I’m taking this trip where all I can do is stay adrift
The waves are building, now I’m going down with the ship

~Windreamer~

All Out Warriors

Windreamer — Thu, 22 May 2008 18:15:40 +0000

All Out Warriors
~
At a grueling rate we had to take all the pain inflicted
Not sure of how things will turn out, so we make provisions
Remorse no more since it got the final notice of eviction
Because of that, we know our circle is pretty restricted
Saw things never envisioned now friction is a daily occurrence
We know how give what we get, especially if it’s about hurting
Many surprises in life were signs to train hard for endurance
What was thrust into view became the cue - nothing is certain
Zero reversing for words warning of obvious advancement
Adverse situations we take and turn into livable circumstances
Those respected injected the ways of speaking through actions
By our commanding hands we stand solid as active combatants
Living life with a passion knowing damage is real and expected
That doesn’t mean compassion and morals get left neglected
No apologies for trying right through wrong actions attempted
What and who carry meaning to us means they’re fiercely protected

~Windreamer~

Rez Assured

Windreamer — Mon, 19 May 2008 22:28:07 +0000

Rez Assured
~
No permission needed, this route here carries a lot of meaning
Some might go as far as to say it’s why we’re here breathing
Going for the crowning achievement, picking up where the lead is
If it isn’t a means to the end than we’re all about leaving
We know the reasons for believing and we’re here to see them
It’s not our opinions that matter if it isn’t quite appealing
But if there’s revealing concealment than wait until our turn
We don’t start up with any of that ‘well this is what I heard’
The only thing we know how to stay is natives called diverse
When artillery gets dispersed they call our marksmanship superb
Striking nerves and causing concern just by entering the place
Stretched plenty limits by giving a li’l more than what it takes
To see where record holders stand, we’re out here keeping pace
Others get mad only cause the view never changes on who to chase
All we’re trying to do is stay in place without trying to scrape
There’s a lot more going on than going strong for our own sake

~Windreamer~

Honorable Discharge

Windreamer — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:04:28 +0000

Honorable Discharge
~
The way it’s supposed to be is we don’t grow to be strangers
Instead, here we are opposing each other in moments of anger
Along the line we lost sight of making each other greater
We went from being pencil and paper to each other’s eraser
Now we start keeping track of fulfilling how many favors
Went from betting on one another to making different wagers
Gone are the days when labors of love weren’t on the fritz
We never used to look at what we could get, but what to give
No matter how strong the wind, together was how we would drift
Instead of keeping a grip, we argue about the first to slip
Maybe this is it and we’ve passed our ‘as good as it gets’
I’m sorry for being a mess and only being able to guess
You’ve done what you could for me, and I am very impressed
To try and make us work, I saw what you offered to invest
I respect you as a person and admire you as a friend
It still hurts that what we had just wasn’t able to mend

~Windreamer~

Gauging Distance

Windreamer — Mon, 12 May 2008 19:04:43 +0000

Gauging Distance
~
You can take the native off the rez, but not the rez out the native
In the worst environments imaginable, gotten ourselves situated
Give all you got to stop us, but we already know we can take it
Taken shot after shot point blank and still striving to make it
Hearts accustomed to hard times are hard to observe as vacant
An uncertain future to endure so with a purpose we want to face it
Always underrated but never evaded taking things as they arrive
With a rested mind is how we all strive to finally rest our eyes
Instead it’s a constant fight to find a way to ground level height
In places like this you never know what to expect or what to find
Vice after vice seems alright until time winds down and takes a toll
Walking away to save face is along the lines of best case scenario
Except so many choose to go down the only traveled road they know
Drugs and alcohol as companions when it comes to family and home
While looking for what’s not there, we also look at what we can hold
If they mean anything to our lives than somehow we let it be known

~windreamer~

Her Offspring

Windreamer — Sun, 11 May 2008 22:08:09 +0000

Her Offspring
~
I grew in her until I could take on all my firsts
When that time came around I was ready for birth
Made a concern forever as the length of my term
After all that I was ready to find out my worth
Crawled then walked to accept many things on earth
Things can go many ways, but in many ways they turn
Respect is served in return after what I’ve learned
Life can provide what’s gentle and can also be firm
It can also be a blur and return the most unexpected
To give more than she could, was quietly inventive
Caring and understanding were her trusted weapons
Many times protective to leave lasting impressions
Now all in our own ways we all became expressive
Thanks to you, we know where to keep progressing
Because of who you are, we know who we’re reflecting
Children of children show teachings once again accepted
While ongoing lessons are added to a growing collection

~Windreamer~

The Good In Life

Windreamer — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:23:01 +0000

The Good In Life
~
I kinda remember sad and lonely oh so long ago
Now I still could be sad, but no more as a solo
I chose and was chosen to be apart of someone’s life
The good, the bad, and the honest all feels so right
Now somehow I’m the prized owner of a gift that keeps giving
By exchanging titles to the age old mister and misses
It’s all about continuing not finishing what we started
A different path has arrived so I’m quietly disarming
Cleared the charges so the pardon was effective immediately
Protective custody was in the waits when I was free to leave
Survived the heat still able to see a continuing dream
The days without her face made me think of who I really need
She let me speak and didn’t leave me alone with my thoughts
Took my hand in hers and was first to talk in this walk
So it was on the spot the fall we took raised the bar
Without knowing, her eyes, words, and touches hit their mark

~Windreamer~

Watchful Eyes

Windreamer — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:41:29 +0000

Watchful Eyes
~
My most cherished possession is a simple battle tested heart
Apologies for not knowing when I don’t have to keep guard
I know for a fact as a target I’m able to get hit hard
The life I had was scorned to adorn different battle scars
I did my part, survived the dark, and now it’s a new start
I will respect and acknowledge a true living form of art
Bombarded and discarded but I’m not in my first war
Already warned about being torn but it’s you I still adore
Each day I think of you more and the life we have in store
I’m running everywhere at once since time I cannot afford
You’re in my core as a force that can only make me better
How many ways to display this love from now until forever
Let me say your place is one that I will always remember
No more worries since I’m earning from my primary investor
Don’t stop giving me your all cause I’m good with pressure
If we haven’t met, my only test is tending to these embers

~Windreamer~

Expanding Boundaries

Windreamer — Wed, 07 May 2008 05:53:15 +0000

Expanding Boundaries
~
For the rez I’m left with nothing else more to show
To give my all before I fall is my one and only oath
Cause the rez blessed me to learn more from what I hold
Hard choices in traditional and nontraditional growth
Fears in us from experiences are rare to get exposed
Where nightmares take shape, described as our very own
Where dreams are born, torn, killed and revived in hope
Unseen and unheard until it’s a threat we start to pose
The one thing we’re not allowed is a sense of control
Ready to explode more than explore ways to stay afloat
Going all out without doubts is our never ending sport
For days and nights is how we learned to give a toast
Through the process of elimination is how we get close
Food and sleep in peace is still how we play the host
Friends and family are still tops in what matters most
If it’s more smiles or miles to pick, than I choose both
For me, there’s no other way, or place quite like home

~Windreamer~

Shot Placement

Windreamer — Sun, 04 May 2008 16:33:13 +0000

Shot Placement
~
If you really want to start some mess, go on and test it
Not ready for the status and that alone is too tempting
Give thanks for making me an issue that’s too pressing
Asked for it and got it now that you see it all ending
It ain’t no thing to make examples and teach lessons
Decode the mystery so everyone can get the message
Leave no questions when addressing the matter at hand
Like those laid out who aren’t the first, or the last
Talking around, talking about, but to me, never stand
Trying to act out but stand out as another form of trash
In the dark took a stab, now there’s no chance for light
I’m your reason for sight and why you don’t want to fight
Take a little chance if you’re up for the roughest climb
Trying to call the time, but it’s already claimed as mine
I’ve been where you’re going and am off to higher heights
On top of the food chain and I’m not ready to resign

~Windreamer~

the wilderness

Windreamer — Sat, 03 May 2008 16:45:52 +0000

Yesterday went out of my way to go out of my way. Went out ‘horn hunting’ and tried out a spot everyone thinks everyone else got to already - around the park city loop road. At first signs were all around just heading up to the top. After some huffing, puffing, and different rests here and there, got to the crest side. No snow around and thankfully, no snakes seen prowling the area. Signs of a bear were there, so it was odd to be moseying around where a possible encounter might take place? Started in on a thicket of white trees and it was strange to walk around paths and openings that could very well house a pack of elk, deer, or some wandering animal that happened upon such a find. Luckily things looked up for me, as I looked up and ahead of us and noticed what looked like tines standing straight up. I was figuring on just finding a shed, but came across a former eatery for some animal killer. It turned out I happened upon a 3 by 4 whitetail whose tines just got length and was probably going to work on mass and spread. That whitetail didn’t make it by way of something that had it’s fill of venison meat. It was something that looked like it was from this past year since none of the tines or beams had any bite marks on it. The one thing that didn’t make it all the way through was the skull. Some of the nose didn’t make it through, but not a big deal to work with. Found some sheds earlier within a couple months, but they were nice and tore up from some chipmunk or squirrel. One of them was from years prior, so it was cool just to know it used to be sizable.

The plan is to go out tomorrow as well, so it’s going to be interesting to see how that one goes. With all the sign of Elk we saw I’m waiting to walk up on an elk shed somewhere. 2day is also one of the nephew’s birthday, so a happy 7th to him as he precedes me by one day. Other than that, it’s may, I’m turning 30 soon, and I’m looking forward to seeing what the rest of this year has yet to bring.

A gatherings to remember, again…

Windreamer — Thu, 01 May 2008 19:49:12 +0000

We pull in wednesday night, or possibly very early thursday since we did show up at midnight? Anyways, the day comes and we’re lounging for miss indian world to come through, but instead of sitting through it all, we went to go eat. Nice dinner shot, then it’s back to miss indian world lobby. Not a bad deal, there were all kinds of natives and native supporters around so it was a good spot to check out. Bumped into Ms White too, so it’s always cool to run into folks you haven’t seen in awhile. Checked out the party that night and there were people all around in all 3 rooms, plus the outside where there was a stripper getting her gyration on without the clothes falling.

Friday works it’s way around and we’re set up the walk through the crowded wow. 4-5 dollar fry breads, and the indian tacos ran up to 8 bucks along with regular sized gatorades going for 3 dollars just to show the inflation of eating at the wow. Vendors were out in full force selling anything from beads, jewelry, cds, knives, pictures, comedy/music, college, artwork, clothes, skateboards, furs, quills, drums, rattles, make up, medicine, and whatever else I’m not mentioning that was there. People were out all kinds with cameras (film and stills) too. Crowded, but not so much as saturday’s attendance would show. Ran into Tribe 2 Ent.’s Shade & Mistic and got an interview there with the camera rolling. Missed the Ky-Mani marley spot, but heard he worked it. Took off to down town one mo gin and club 7 was packed with all kinds of folks trying to filter up to v.i.p. to get their swerve on. Wasn’t any fights or anything I saw, so a mello deal that night.

Saturday… the most packed day for the pit. We show up to literally 100’s if not 1000’s of natives waiting to get in. That was just waiting to get in, and when you step into the venue, natives all over in all different ways. Go through the motions of walking around and trying to get footage, but it was decided that our group was going to split so they can check out the kanye’/lupe’ concert that was taking place that night. They go, and I go back to the wow. In the process got some footage of Rez Hogs, Geno, JSK, Nomadic, and Airos Ent. from different places. Got a late start to the party spots, but it was cool seeing the natives fall out in force while the cops were trying to get their horse riding on to clear out the spot, but with too many natives like that, they only had one choice to go with - retreat. So they were on approach and retreat to try and get folks to head out. Not a bad night, no fights again.

Sunday, the All Nations Skate Jam… It as an all day event, but there are some kids who tear it up out there. I know natives get down, but I was taken back by them getting down like they do. Jumping from stuff, sliding on things, kick flips, and everything else I don’t know about they were out trying and sometimes landing. It seemed odd to see another fashion show, let alone at a skate jam, but that was how it went. And the rollers (cops) were there in full force as well. Every angle, outside and in the skate park were covered by at least a duo if not more cops hanging out? There were injuries around too, so it just goes to show that some folks only know how to go one way - hard. Got some shoes by the man himself, Steve Van Doren. Talked to Tony Alva and Jim Murphy, so it was a good day to have a camera rolling. That night got to meet up with some pretty ladies. They were totally unexpected on my part, but in the end it wasn’t a bad deal in talking around with them. The bros hooked it up by giving me a good review to them, so sometimes it pays to be quiet.

Gatherings ‘08 - all kinds of nice… Gatherings - ‘09, who knows?

Gatherings ‘08

Windreamer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:53:19 +0000

Gatherings ‘08
~
Honesty seemed promising while feeling unsure
Tongue tied so much, words had to be relearned
A bundle of nerves preserved by kindness returned
Patience in waiting when I talked so unsure
Smiled nervous, reserving strength to keep still
In head turning beauty, my eyes got their fill
Trying to make sense with words that couldn’t spill
Keeping a sense of composure that took all of my will
The thrill of the deal where chances were taken
If it was the case, I’m thankful for my misplacement
I apologize for my eyes looking but being evasive
A shell of uncertainty that gently started breaking
Facing beautiful creations and am thankful for such
So far as to give thanks in my own silent hush
Feeling my own private rush to blush from a touch
Nothing to share if they weren’t there with a nudge

~Windreamer~